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QUICKLY, OPEN THE FREAKIN’ DOOR…

   Superstitions are an integral part to my Irish family upbringing. As children we learned early on about having good luck decent upon you after a bird poops on you (if you have ever been to Ireland, it’s a land of birds, they are everywhere en masse, someone will get pooped on for sure). Also, never, ever, ever put new shoes on your bed. How about the one, if your palm is itchy money will be a comin’. Or the one where specific cutlery accidentally falls to the floor it signals a visitor will be arriving shortly. An itchy nose is the sign for a fight.They go on and on. Whether or not you have the slightest belief in any of the above OR if you just consider each part of an “old wife’s” tale, I bet you don’t cross the street when you see a black cat in front of you. Then there is the “fairy trees” in Ireland which we saw.Hey, I believe.

   My paternal grandmother had what was known in our family as “the O’Flanaghan eye”, that being the ability for her or the possessor of “the eye” to turn your life to shit if you wronged a loved one. I always thought it was a family joke that my family spoke about until she announced on night that she did it to a family in-law soon to be a family out-law. The curse worked big time and in short order. That poor sucker never saw it coming. Geez, scared the bejesus out of me. Before she left this earth for parts unknown at a ripe old age she told me in private that I now inherited “the eye” or so she said. I have NOT used it, as yet. I don’t even know how to call upon the spirits to use it but I’ll warn you, BEWARE, if I ever find out how, well, enough said. Growing up we children learned from early on that, “you exit from the same door you entered”. When questioning about this idiosyncrasy one quickly learns from the elders, “It’s a bad sign, the only time you arrive and then leave through a different doorway is in the funeral home” (interpreted as “When you are dead”). My favorite as a child of two Irish families, paternal and maternal, when in large gatherings was “Never sit at a table of 13”, to which we ask “But why, Nana?”. “Because someone, usually the oldest or wisest dies, didn’t you ever hear about THE LAST SUPPER, child”. I still count before I sit down, not that I am the wisest but lately I am the eldest.I am not testing that one.

   What’s all this gibber-gabber have to do with anything you ask ? It’s NEW YEARS EVE, at the stroke of midnight, The Irish are instructed to open the front door to let the old year out and welcome the NEW YEAR in. Hmmmm. This year in my happy abode we opened the front door, the back door, all the fuxxing windows, and even turned on the exhaust vents to get 2021 out as quickly as possible. 2021 was supposed to be a better than the lousy 2020 year. Well, someone, not me, must have at some point given 2021 “the eye” because up to then COVID fatalities were declining, restaurants were re-opening, bands were touring, things were moving along, until…wait…did someone harm a “fairy tree”????

To be continued…